1.28.2006

je suis content

my fragmental french surfacing again...

but i am "well", or "content" right now. so many things even a month ago that i disparaged myself for are not a problem anymore. and i don't mean that i somehow conquered a bad habit or two and now i'm a paragon of virtue... no, i mean that my mindset is clearing, becoming cleansed of the negativity and cynicism i carried inside for so long. i pray it never comes back! it is miserable to live with your "own worst critic" CONSTANTLY. yes, we all criticize ourselves, but my inner critic was becoming the dominant voice in my mind. it constantly reminded me of how badly i do everything and how i have no self discipline, and no talent, and bad motivations.



i am relieved to rediscover me. somewhat crumpled (i love that word) but essentially the same. perhaps even new and improved... until the next update which i hope will not be so awkward and unpleasant.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Please do be content (in french or english!) I love all of your "crumples."

Chara said...

Had this weird little voice in your head ever actually met you? Please- when that weird little voice starts yakking whip out a little Jack Johnson music to remind yourself that there are good things in the world, and you are one of them!
Missing you much!
I'm having my teeth out on Wednesday- too bad I can't video myself afterward. It would be good for a laugh.