simple

one of my favorite words. my little saying i often tell myself: simple does NOT mean easy. the more days i add to my life on this earth the more i want them to be simple. straightforward. uncomplicated. honest.

and as nice and clean as that word sounds, it is hard to maintain. lately i've been noticing the pull of the fhu bookstore for example. little notebooks and shiny gel pens, "supplies" that really have no purpose, chocolate and multivitamin drinks, cologne and brad montague cds all fascinate me. i can spend a whole twenty minutes in there contemplating how to waste 3 dollars. what's sadder is that you can put these pointless purchaseson your student account and not feel it until you graduate.

oh, here's another one: i want some converse tennis shoes - black or pink i'm not sure... but, WHY? i don't NEED them!! i have ten pairs of perfectly good shoes, plus i go barefoot as much as possible, i'm not a shoe person. but there it is, i have the strong desire to clutter my life.

slowly, i've begun to realize this urge can seep right down to the spiritual level too. i can see this desk or filing cabinet in my mind with different overstuffed folders for all sorts of forays in thought. a folder for "issues" in the church, one for "alternative belief systems" - that one's thick, i have a fascination for eastern religion and pagan beliefs - and maybe a whole drawer labelled "doubts and skepticisms".

i've always heard teachers and preachers saying that we have a "buffet style" approach to religion today. this kind of statement makes me want to roll my eyes at times because of the way it's stated. i tend to want to argue back, even if there is some truth to these large statements. but, but, i understand this one. i like to pick and choose... it's that whole mentality of "thingism" as i call it. you know, like, "how does this couch reflect my personality?", "does this t-shirt show how edgy and cool i really am?" you can just SEE people thinking these things sometimes when you look at what they wear or what they own. i think i'm tempted to do this at times in the realm of "religion".

i'm in a class on the prophets right now. and this is what it boils down to: God doesn't want you messing around with "alternative beliefs" he just wants you to worship him with a sincere and clean(ed) heart. simple, right? easy? no.