passage

i've always attibuted my habit of marking the passage of time to the mitchell side of my genes. from a young age, i remember my granpa mitchell saying, "and what were you doing one year ago today?" or on birthdays it would be, "where were you on this day -- years ago?"

it's stuck.

a strong awareness of where i am, where i've been and what i've done has been fostered in me by many. i place a great value on memories created over the span of my life, some wonderful, some very simple and some incredibly sad. i think part of "growing up" for me has been realizing that i play a role in creating those memories, and that what i do and say impacts others' memories. we say no one will remember us historically, we'll never be written up in text books to be memorized and then forgotten by hundreds of highschoolers. but, someone will remember you, will remember me.

sometimes it surprises me who remembers me, and what they remember about me. sometimes it's struck me pleasantly, the other person's memory of me is an image i like to project, or a trait i prize... sometimes, however endearingly or politely expressed, i wonder if i did myself justice in the actions that created that impression. i've always been very image-concious, sometimes to the point of social anxiety, and it's usually at those times that i am not memorable or remembered as someone i'm not.

as i end this first semester back at FHU, i am anticipating the feeling of satisfaction. i have not done everything perfectly, but i have done the things in front of me. nothing is incomplete, i put effort into everything. my classes, my commitments, and my spiritual life have been honored. the student center breakfast, worship at jack's creek, rehearsals with the winter's tale cast, being with my family here... God has blessed me with inumerable good memories to fill my heart as i mark the passage of time.