narnia

ever looked back at something in your life, and marvelled at your own stupidity? i have. i'm thinking of those times when things are good because you're doing right, and you look back to a time when you weren't, and are stunned at how blind your were. it's the magpie thing for me... something is shiny, something is pretty, and so i trade up all sorts of good steady true things for the shiny that will make me happy - momentarily. eventually the shine dims, and whatever's underneath comes out, or that thing you held so dear simply crumbles in your hands.

so why do we throw the good stuff away?

in narnia, edmond went for the turkish delight, the hot cocoa, the fur lined throne, and the queen - he wanted to easy way, and he wanted to be fawned over. i love edmond for the lesson he learns and for the grace that is shown him by Aslan ... last night i FINALLY watched the lion the witch and the wardrobe - and am in love all over again with the beauty and clarity with which CS Lewis tells the story. i don't think i stopped tearing up from five minutes in to the movie. what gets to me at this moment the most, is how the children are reminded of how we ought to treat eachother as family... Aslan said that edmonds betrayal was worse because he betrayed his family... and i see me in that, i see us.

as a christian, how often am i seduced by turkish delight? how often do i climb into the witch's sled in order to feel "special". it is attractive, it is seductive, but eventually the ice melts, and the misery of trading your will for one set on power, on anger and on the temporary, shows through. i know the feeling. i have been drawn towards the appearance of evil. there are valuable events in my life, moments i will never recapture, that are marred by my own selfishness and sin. instead of treasuring the gifts i have in Christ, the family and the confidence in Him, i have traded it in for days and nights where i did my own will, sought my own pleasure, and they were all too short, they ended in misery and loss. and then i looked up, and He - that great lion - was there to take my place and be the sacrifice, bearing the consequence of my foolish actions.

and i guarantee, there will still be times to come, where edmond and i will identify, and marvel at the grace of our Savior. until then, i am in awe and praise Him for the things He has done that are beyond my imagination. really deep magic.