open

is there such a thing as being too open? i used to say to my husband that when you "opened your mind" to new things that not all new things are good things. i still think that's true. however, there's the other extreme too, where everything one is exposed to goes through so many filters that the impact of, whatever-it-is, is totally lost upon the reciever.

i don't want to be sheltered. i want to make my own choices. i like to have all the facts in front of me. i like to know what others think.

but there are times, when all i want to do is find a cave and wait out the storm around me.

there are times, when i don't know what choices to make, or whether it really matters in the long run what others think.

i'd like to think i'm living my life alone. but the simple FACT is that i am not.

each moment is built on another, each hour of my existence is impacted by the thousands before it, and is unique to me. it is unique. it is not able to stand on its own. i am not alone. but i am.

open up your mind, but don't let the garbage fall in. don't let the poison course through your veins. wipe the blood off your hands lady macbeth... scrub it all out. power is meeted out to us in small portions for a reason.

don't let the garbage fall in, but don't go blind. be wise as serpents and harmless as doves. use your knowledge to build, not destroy. don't use your words as weapons. the words you speak can be daggers, or the tools to build a friendship.

the FACT is, i have large dreams, and a small life. each morning i wake up with the glamour of each dream lingering around my eyes. dreams are powerful, they can pull you into another world or push you back out into the real one.

open up your heart. you can get hurt, but you can also heal. you can hurt, but you can LOVE. sometimes the pain is worth it, and it will not last forever. i have to believe that. no moment stands alone, no injustice goes unseen forever... God is there always. love is somewhere always. love is not always pretty. sometimes it can be harsh and difficult. sometimes, your love will not be accepted and seen for what it is.

don't let the poison creep through your veins. don't let hate and anger dwell within you. they are ugly and destructive companions. they will bring you lower than you ever imagined you could be, and blind you to the good things. nothing is ever the same when you see it through a filter of mistrust and anger. resentment and selfish indignation will only get you so far, and by the time you get there you will be so EMPTY.

maybe it's just about making the right choices, opening yourself up to the right things, and knowing what you want. maybe it's simply a matter of opening your heart to what is good and right and letting God take control. maybe it's about sorting through the garbage the world hands you and learning discernment.