i collect people.
whitney was up a couple weekends ago, and i was reminded of our shared amusement at people who "collect" things. once i had a stamp collection when i was oh, 9 i think... and then there was the time when i "collected" barbies. but really i was trying to justify the number i owned. other than that, i've never really set out to collect all of any sort of collector's edition anything - ever.
personally, i've always felt like "collectibles" were "dust collectors" and that was it. very rarely is there any true personal attachment to these things people buy and keep on the shelves and mantles like trophies.
but i do collect people. they are all unique, they love me back, i don't have to keep them on shelves and best of all - i don't have to dust them!
7.14.2006
6.28.2006
also...
zach and katy smith
here are two wonderful people i've grown fond of, they just got married too.
observations
and so, this is what i've noticed lately:
-- people usually aren't thinking what you think they're thinking.
-- if you ask for help in doing something, you just might get it.
-- it's not that hard to just get up and DO what you're supposed to do. in fact it's WAY better than avoiding said tasks.
-- when you're busy doing life, you don't have as much time to blog.
lately, i've been battling some fierce anger and resentment, i suppose it's natural when you consider that recovering from a divorce and restarting your life doesn't happen overnight. something hit me over the head the last week though, it's an old realization that i'm convinced HAS to reoccur on a regular basis in my life.
it was this: when i'm far away from God, and far away from knowing how i really feel, i am miserable. those two things are so connected. for me, anger is this shield that i use to protect myself from ME. when i'm angry, i feel justified in it, and indulge myself completely in the process. (boy i wish i had that commitment in some other areas!) and, when i'm busy being angry and resentful, i don't have time to listen to God and i'm certain that i'm not a very attractive vessel for His Spirit.
the result of these realizations for me is a conviction that i need to carve out more time with God, and more time working towards a healthy life. so, at the moment i am sitting in the library recovering from a good workout and relishing a peaceful day that began with God and hopefully will end with Him too.
-- people usually aren't thinking what you think they're thinking.
-- if you ask for help in doing something, you just might get it.
-- it's not that hard to just get up and DO what you're supposed to do. in fact it's WAY better than avoiding said tasks.
-- when you're busy doing life, you don't have as much time to blog.
lately, i've been battling some fierce anger and resentment, i suppose it's natural when you consider that recovering from a divorce and restarting your life doesn't happen overnight. something hit me over the head the last week though, it's an old realization that i'm convinced HAS to reoccur on a regular basis in my life.
it was this: when i'm far away from God, and far away from knowing how i really feel, i am miserable. those two things are so connected. for me, anger is this shield that i use to protect myself from ME. when i'm angry, i feel justified in it, and indulge myself completely in the process. (boy i wish i had that commitment in some other areas!) and, when i'm busy being angry and resentful, i don't have time to listen to God and i'm certain that i'm not a very attractive vessel for His Spirit.
the result of these realizations for me is a conviction that i need to carve out more time with God, and more time working towards a healthy life.
6.13.2006
and in other news...
my hands smell like onions. i am making a roast with potatoes and other yummy things....
i made soap today in physical science lab...
my sweet brother chris bought me a desk for my birthday and put it together too.
aaand... that's all i have to say right now. i am blessed, and loved.
i made soap today in physical science lab...
my sweet brother chris bought me a desk for my birthday and put it together too.
aaand... that's all i have to say right now. i am blessed, and loved.
6.05.2006
state of my nation
The Most Serene Republic of Innis Morgaine is a very large, safe nation, notable for its punitive income tax rates. Its compassionate, cynical population of 173 million are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.
It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Public Transport, Law & Order, and Religion & Spirituality. The average income tax rate is 64%, and even higher for the wealthy. Private enterprise is illegal, but for those in the know there is a slick and highly efficient black market in Arms Manufacturing.
An enormous health awareness programme is underway, citizens are encouraged to report friends, family members or co-workers who seem depressed to the government for "counselling", the nation's first space rocket -- sponsored by Pepsi and shaped like an enormous soda bottle -- is being developed, and there have been reports of people marrying housepets. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is well under control, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Innis Morgaine's national animal is the otter, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its currency is the innismark.
Innis Morgaine is ranked 23rd in the region and 44,895th in the world for Largest Trout Fishing Sector.
-- this is my very own nation state . right now Innis Morgaine is considered a "Father Knows Best" state with a reasonable economy and good civil rights but few political freedoms. of course, my nation is a member of the freedtopia region. don't ask me why, but i love this game!
It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Public Transport, Law & Order, and Religion & Spirituality. The average income tax rate is 64%, and even higher for the wealthy. Private enterprise is illegal, but for those in the know there is a slick and highly efficient black market in Arms Manufacturing.
An enormous health awareness programme is underway, citizens are encouraged to report friends, family members or co-workers who seem depressed to the government for "counselling", the nation's first space rocket -- sponsored by Pepsi and shaped like an enormous soda bottle -- is being developed, and there have been reports of people marrying housepets. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is well under control, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Innis Morgaine's national animal is the otter, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its currency is the innismark.
Innis Morgaine is ranked 23rd in the region and 44,895th in the world for Largest Trout Fishing Sector.
-- this is my very own nation state . right now Innis Morgaine is considered a "Father Knows Best" state with a reasonable economy and good civil rights but few political freedoms. of course, my nation is a member of the freedtopia region. don't ask me why, but i love this game!
5.26.2006
memorial
i'm spending the weekend with these three crazies. we're doing memorial day weekend wi/ paul's family in the nashville area. and there's a renaissance fair on monday. yay!!! i've never done that before.
5.23.2006
apples to apples
this is a brilliant game, and i highly recommend it.
of course, that might have something to do with the fact that i've been playing it every night this week. david, susan s. and paul shoulders are also around for the summer, and so my place has become the place to hang out it seems. fine by me. =) you know how i hate coffee and good company.
5.14.2006
demand
i've been told i need to post something new by several people now... and it surprises me that i haven't posted in a while! but not. last week was finals, and the weekend before i moved into my house. quite exhausted. and of course now, i'm limited to dial-up internet which i haven't set up yet... and, i've been in kansas this weekend.
summer has just about arrived. school's out, it's warm and stormy in tennessee, and the boys are leaving for zimbabwe tomorrow... i just found out for sure that i'll be working at the library this summer - yay! and i'm extremely happy that we're doing summer theatre too.
ummmm.... that's all i have for now, but at least this won't freak you out like drew does chara. =)
summer has just about arrived. school's out, it's warm and stormy in tennessee, and the boys are leaving for zimbabwe tomorrow... i just found out for sure that i'll be working at the library this summer - yay! and i'm extremely happy that we're doing summer theatre too.
ummmm.... that's all i have for now, but at least this won't freak you out like drew does chara. =)
5.02.2006
it's back
an old friend came out to haunt me during the run of the play... here's the question: DO i look like drew barrymore?? seriously? that's just weird.
5.01.2006
high
the play is over, and i didn't want it to end... i'm on a "theatre high" right now i think. we had our theatre majors debriefing for "winter's tale", and thursday we have spotlight awards - the final touch to an incredible semester performance-wise for me.
sometimes i really doubt myself and my choice to pursue theatre. in fact, when i came back this semester, i told dr. t that i wasn't sure i'd major in theatre anymore. winter's tale was my test run. i felt like if i did this play and it ended up feeling like pride and prejudice part deux, then i didn't need to pursue a career in the performing arts. and... somehow, magically, it WASN'T that way anymore.
i was telling susan h. that i feel like such a geek because i don't want the process of making the show, and then performing it, to end. even with all the stress of getting papers and tests done, and the exhaustion of the late nights and drain of focusing and playing hermione, i loved it. and it's no longer about impressing anyone, or getting approval, it's about telling the story and making one incredible moment after another... it's curtain call, and the genuine joyful triumph each one of us - cast and crew - feels as we grip eachother's hands and take a bow.
and now, there's a possibility of a SUMMER SHOW... dr. t asked us how many would be here this summer, and if we'd be interested in doing one. yeah!! and then, and then and then... i'm going to NEW YORK CITY for a week, and getting 3 hours credit for it too.
i feel so blessed right now, that God has provided me with this haven, this place full of friends, love and the joy of doing something i am passionate about. and now, i have to finish this paper. =)
4.26.2006
whitney
it's my friend whitney's birthday. this will be the... 5th birthday she's had since i've known her. thanks for all the long aimless nights of tea, chocolate and wonderful thoughts. all the times you've made me laugh when i was taking myself far too seriously. and all the love and you spend on everyone, and the things you've taught me. i love you whit.
pay attention
"to pay attention, this is our endless and proper work." ~mary oliver
the past few days have been tense. school is winding down (or is it up?), and we definitely are wound up for the play. tomorrow is opening night. there are crazy scribbly butterflies in my stomach when i think too much about it. which is actually, really fantastic. the last play i was in, i despaired at the lack of nervousness i had. i was like a stone, i had rocks in my stomach not flurrious (hehe) flutterbies.
due to the nature of the theatre program here, and our lack of faculty, growth is really something you struggle for and carve out on your own at times. my performance level during rehearsals has been low key and muted. tonight i really need to push things in order to be READY for tomorrow. i know the lines, i know the role, and i just need to remember what is at stake for my character, and delight in the beauty of the lines spoken.
so much of what you do onstage is about paying attention. if you're not focused, you will miss so much, and getting lost is not pretty.
the past few days have been tense. school is winding down (or is it up?), and we definitely are wound up for the play. tomorrow is opening night. there are crazy scribbly butterflies in my stomach when i think too much about it. which is actually, really fantastic. the last play i was in, i despaired at the lack of nervousness i had. i was like a stone, i had rocks in my stomach not flurrious (hehe) flutterbies.
due to the nature of the theatre program here, and our lack of faculty, growth is really something you struggle for and carve out on your own at times. my performance level during rehearsals has been low key and muted. tonight i really need to push things in order to be READY for tomorrow. i know the lines, i know the role, and i just need to remember what is at stake for my character, and delight in the beauty of the lines spoken.
so much of what you do onstage is about paying attention. if you're not focused, you will miss so much, and getting lost is not pretty.
4.23.2006
4.21.2006
passage
i've always attibuted my habit of marking the passage of time to the mitchell side of my genes. from a young age, i remember my granpa mitchell saying, "and what were you doing one year ago today?" or on birthdays it would be, "where were you on this day -- years ago?"
it's stuck.
a strong awareness of where i am, where i've been and what i've done has been fostered in me by many. i place a great value on memories created over the span of my life, some wonderful, some very simple and some incredibly sad. i think part of "growing up" for me has been realizing that i play a role in creating those memories, and that what i do and say impacts others' memories. we say no one will remember us historically, we'll never be written up in text books to be memorized and then forgotten by hundreds of highschoolers. but, someone will remember you, will remember me.
sometimes it surprises me who remembers me, and what they remember about me. sometimes it's struck me pleasantly, the other person's memory of me is an image i like to project, or a trait i prize... sometimes, however endearingly or politely expressed, i wonder if i did myself justice in the actions that created that impression. i've always been very image-concious, sometimes to the point of social anxiety, and it's usually at those times that i am not memorable or remembered as someone i'm not.
as i end this first semester back at FHU, i am anticipating the feeling of satisfaction. i have not done everything perfectly, but i have done the things in front of me. nothing is incomplete, i put effort into everything. my classes, my commitments, and my spiritual life have been honored. the student center breakfast, worship at jack's creek, rehearsals with the winter's tale cast, being with my family here... God has blessed me with inumerable good memories to fill my heart as i mark the passage of time.
it's stuck.
a strong awareness of where i am, where i've been and what i've done has been fostered in me by many. i place a great value on memories created over the span of my life, some wonderful, some very simple and some incredibly sad. i think part of "growing up" for me has been realizing that i play a role in creating those memories, and that what i do and say impacts others' memories. we say no one will remember us historically, we'll never be written up in text books to be memorized and then forgotten by hundreds of highschoolers. but, someone will remember you, will remember me.
sometimes it surprises me who remembers me, and what they remember about me. sometimes it's struck me pleasantly, the other person's memory of me is an image i like to project, or a trait i prize... sometimes, however endearingly or politely expressed, i wonder if i did myself justice in the actions that created that impression. i've always been very image-concious, sometimes to the point of social anxiety, and it's usually at those times that i am not memorable or remembered as someone i'm not.
as i end this first semester back at FHU, i am anticipating the feeling of satisfaction. i have not done everything perfectly, but i have done the things in front of me. nothing is incomplete, i put effort into everything. my classes, my commitments, and my spiritual life have been honored. the student center breakfast, worship at jack's creek, rehearsals with the winter's tale cast, being with my family here... God has blessed me with inumerable good memories to fill my heart as i mark the passage of time.
4.20.2006
4.19.2006
pink
after my last blog comment i was reminiscing. i would love to have pink hair. i know, i'm silly.
4.18.2006
plunk street
i have a house!!
well, to rent anyway. and i'm soooo excited! and relieved. it's getting to be that crazy time of the semester when all i can think about is school and the play... so i didn't want to worry anymore about where i was going to live after finals.
and in other news...
last week i was very klutsy and fell off of a plinth (yes, a plinth) on set, and tripped over stairs in the rain, and now feel very sore and bruised.
tomorrow i will teach an "ESL" lesson in Intercultural Comm. class to Mark Blackwelder. i'm going to teach him how to do a theatre vocal warm-up. hehehe.
my brother chris is amazing! for further details... come see "a winter's tale" or ask him about his new job at red walnut church.
my brother ian is amazing! he's getting a scholarship in the english dept. and is taking upper level courses his freshman/sophomore years.
and... that's all i have for now folks. love and freshly folded laundry.
well, to rent anyway. and i'm soooo excited! and relieved. it's getting to be that crazy time of the semester when all i can think about is school and the play... so i didn't want to worry anymore about where i was going to live after finals.
and in other news...
last week i was very klutsy and fell off of a plinth (yes, a plinth) on set, and tripped over stairs in the rain, and now feel very sore and bruised.
tomorrow i will teach an "ESL" lesson in Intercultural Comm. class to Mark Blackwelder. i'm going to teach him how to do a theatre vocal warm-up. hehehe.
my brother chris is amazing! for further details... come see "a winter's tale" or ask him about his new job at red walnut church.
my brother ian is amazing! he's getting a scholarship in the english dept. and is taking upper level courses his freshman/sophomore years.
and... that's all i have for now folks. love and freshly folded laundry.
4.12.2006
final decree
according to the dallas county court, my divorce was finalized on March 31, 2006. i recieved the final decree in the mail today. i can't go to classes today. i just can't.
4.06.2006
cooking
i love to cook. it's really becoming a bit of a creative outlet for me - or at least a stress relief that is healthy and useful. i've taken to making meals downstairs in the dorm kitchen. mostly pastas and yummy sauces, with lots of fresh ingredients... and the rule is to share it. if i make food i have to share it with someone in the dorm. people seem to be getting used to seeing me in there, and smelling the garlic and onion... or whatever.
my friend laura often posts really great pictures of the food she and john make and it's very inspiring. they're always trying something unique, and very tasty too. i'm looking forward to having a kitchen of my own again, and a place where i can grow some herbs and vegetables too.
the best part of making food, for me, is that you can share it and share the process of making it with anyone. it draws people together and in the process, friends not only feed their bodies but eachother's souls.
my friend laura often posts really great pictures of the food she and john make and it's very inspiring. they're always trying something unique, and very tasty too. i'm looking forward to having a kitchen of my own again, and a place where i can grow some herbs and vegetables too.
the best part of making food, for me, is that you can share it and share the process of making it with anyone. it draws people together and in the process, friends not only feed their bodies but eachother's souls.
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